


I'm not anything (without you)

by breakthesewallsdown



Category: Sanvers - Fandom, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Fluffy, Missing Scene, One Shot, Post 2x09, Sanvers - Freeform, idk they'll be the end of me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9460094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakthesewallsdown/pseuds/breakthesewallsdown
Summary: "I thought I'd lose you,"Maggie's smile falters and she sighs, "For a while I thought that was what you wanted,"orthe talk after the hug in 2x09





	

**Author's Note:**

> this immediately follows up on their conversation at the end of episode 9 (:

When Maggie starts to pull away, Alex only tightens her grip around her shoulders- making the smaller woman put her arms back around Alex' waist and squeezing softly. Alex doesn't want her to let go yet. Or ever.

She can't believe she's been this stupid. How did she even get to the point of almost losing Maggie? Well, she knows how. Because she's too invested in her job and in protecting Kara. It's always been like that. Whenever Kara was in trouble she'd only focus on that and push everyone else away until it was fixed. She always knew it was a bad habit, but people understood and Alex learned how to deal with it. 

But with Maggie everything is new. And different. And she doesn't know how to share this part of her life with Maggie. Or she didn't know. But now she does. Because Maggie knows that her sister is Supergirl and maybe things will be easier now. Hopefully.

 _You get one, Alex._

Alex understands. She can't just push Maggie away whenever something bad happens. They have to talk and work through it together. Maggie will be there for her to help her and to hold her. She knows that now. 

"Alex," 

"No," she whispers, "just hold me, please,"

"Can we at least move to the couch?" Maggie asks, rubbing Alex' back softly, "I promise I'm not going anywhere," 

Alex nods against her shoulder before pulling back slightly. They look at each other for a second, small smile on Maggie's face as she looks up at her girlfriend. Then Alex walks back towards the couch with Maggie hot on her heels. And as soon as they're sitting down, Maggie's already opening her arms for Alex to cuddle up to her. 

"C'mere," she says gently. 

Alex shuffles closer and rest her head on Maggie shoulder, arm around her waist, legs bent underneath her. Maggie's hand rubs soothing circles on Alex' shoulder while the other rest softly on Alex' arm that's around her waist. 

And it's a comfortable silence. 

It is.

But Alex feels like there's still so much they have to talk about. 

So she clears her throat and shuffles a little closer, before talking. 

"Maggie?" 

"Yes?" 

Alex sighs, "I'm sorry," 

She feels Maggie shift, so she sits up and closes her eyes for a few seconds. Maggie's hands softly grab onto hers and Alex doesn't really know if she should laugh or cry. 

"I didn't mean it, you know," Alex says softly, opening her eyes. 

And she's more leaning towards _crying_ because how dare Maggie look at her like that. Understanding and loving and _God_ , Alex isn't used to this. She isn't used to being cared about like this and being listened at. 

"When I said that this was a mistake. I didn't mean it," 

Maggie glances down, towards their hands, and nods, "I know," 

"I didn't mean to hurt you like I did," Alex mutters, "I shouldn't have pushed you away," 

"No," Maggie says, "you shouldn't have. But you did. And now we're going to work through it and learn from it, okay?" 

Alex nods, "Okay,"

"You're not alone anymore, Alex. You don't have to do this all by yourself. I'm here for you," 

"I know," Alex says, "I'll work on it," 

" _We_ will work on it," Maggie corrects her softly, freeing one of her hands to cup Alex' cheek to make her look at her, "whenever something happens we just need to talk to each other, okay?" 

Alex sighs, but nods, "I just- I never really had anyone who I could talk to, about any of this. I'm not used to this,"

"But now you do. You have _me_ ," she whispers, her thumb stroking her cheek, "and things won't be perfect, and we'll argue and fight, but we need to talk about things and not run when it gets hard," 

"Okay," Alex says, "I- We can do that," 

Maggie smiles and pulls Alex back against her chest, her hand running through her short locks. "We're in this together now," 

"Thank you," 

A kiss on Alex' head lets her know it's all okay and they will get there. That this was just a bump in the road, but they'll be fine. Great, even. Alex tightens her grip on Maggie's waist and presses closer, her face tucked into Maggie's neck. She could sit here forever. 

"Are you sleeping over again?" 

Maggie chuckles, "Two nights in a row? Sure you can handle that, Danvers?" 

Alex pokes Maggie's side, "Just to _sleep_ , Maggie. I don't want to say goodbye to you yet," 

"Mhm," she says, her voice teasing. 

Alex pulls back again and looks at her, notices the small smile on her lips and the sparkle in her eye as she looks at Alex. Notices the stroke of Maggie's thumb on her hand and the grip of her other on her waist. Just thinking about not sitting here with Maggie, not being able to hold her – and _be held_ by her – or being able to talk to her or kiss her, it tears Alex apart. 

Her eyes flicker towards Maggie's lips and when her smile stretches, Alex can't help but sigh softly. Because she is so beautiful and Alex is so _stupid_ and to think she almost lost Maggie makes her want to punch herself in the face. 

Because Maggie is beautiful and tough and strong and caring and- Alex shakes her head softly, averts her gaze from Maggie's. Sighs. 

"What's wrong?" Maggie asks softly. 

Alex pauses. Waits. Sighs again. Then takes a deep breath.

"I thought I'd lose you," 

Maggie's smile falters and she sighs, "For a while I thought that was what you wanted," 

And Alex' heart breaks, because she never meant for Maggie to think that. She's not sure she'll ever forgive herself for reacting the way she did. 

"I'm so mad at myself," 

Maggie shifts and presses a kiss to Alex' forehead, "Stop beating yourself up over it, Alex. It happened and it hurt, but we talked about it and now we move on. Okay?"

"I just- I don't want to mess up again,"

"We will both mess up," Maggie admits, "and that's okay. I didn't mean you can't mess up. I just don't want you to run from me, from _us_ , whenever things get hard. I don't want you to push me away and shut me out. I want you to come to me and talk to me and let me help," 

Alex looks down and nods. 

"I've been down that road a lot, you know," Maggie then says, "of being pushed away and always letting them back in after they come crawling back to me. I don't want that with you. I want an honest and healthy relationship with you," Maggie runs her fingers across Alex' jaw and smiles, "I want to be able to talk to you about anything and everything, to have you talk to me about things that bother you and things you wish were different. You don't have to fix things alone anymore. I'm here to help and to hold you, Alex," 

"I promise I'll be better," Alex says. 

"You don't have to be better, Danvers," Maggie answers, "just _you_. The only thing you have to learn is to talk to me."

Alex looks up at that, small smile across her face, "I will,"

"Good," 

"Are we-," Alex hesitates, bites her lip for a second, "Are we okay?" 

And Maggie smiles. She honest to God _smiles_. That smile that shows her dimples and makes Alex' heart beat a thousand times faster. And Alex already knows the answer even before Maggie says anything. 

"Of course," 

Alex lets out a breath of relief and smiles, "You're so wonderful," she says, "I don't deserve you," 

Maggie chuckles, shakes her head. And Alex' heart hurts, because she knows Maggie still doesn't believe her when she says stuff like this, but she _should_. She should believe her, because it's true. Maggie is wonderful and beautiful and lovely. 

"You are, Maggie," Alex says as she cups both of Maggie's cheeks, "you're wonderful," 

A blush creeps onto Maggie's cheeks and she tries to duck her head, but Alex tilts it back up to make Maggie look at her again. She smiles and leans forward to press a soft kiss to her cheek, then the other. Then she lingers at Maggie's lips, unsure- afraid. 

"Can I?" she asks quietly. 

Maggie nods and pulls Alex closer by her neck, their lips pressing together in a soft kiss that says more than words ever could. And Alex doesn't know how she could ever live without it – without _her_ – anymore. She also kind of wants to punch herself in the face, again, for thinking such cliché thoughts. Again. 

"Stay?" Alex asks, because Maggie still hasn't said yes. Or no. 

Maggie smiles against her lips, "Okay,"


End file.
